Osctracizing, ego and competition

My daughter just graduated from elementary school.  We have loved the teachers and school staff who were great.  However we had a not so welcoming experience as far as parents go.  I don't want to say we were bullied but more like ostracized.  So I am happy to be moving on to another experience.  I have experienced first hand a particular parent bashing another child in front of other parents while her parents were not there.  Is it a wonder that now this parent's child does the same thing and gossips about other children behind their back, and then turns around and pretends to be their friend.  I have participated in my child's school but not in excess - I did what I felt would benefit my child.  I see parents really go out of their way and really push to be with the in crowd.  I don't think this is worth it if you are dealing with fake people that have everyone fooled.  I have observed this certain parent being excited and happy when other people were being ticketed outside for double parking - meanwhile the school does not have a parking lot.  Why all the hate...she has her own issues just like everyone else...  Yet people flock to her?  She has also of course not rsvp'd to my daughter's birthday parties the two times I have invited her, meanwhile the children have gotten along at school.  A simple "no" would have sufficed.   I myself am not upset about this because I have always been a loner and like to observe what I am getting into first.  I enjoy being around genuine people. I am sure people have an opinion of me as being quiet or not involved enough.  I am involved enough in my child's life and have nothing to prove to the school or other parents as far as trying to be a martyr because of being overworked. I have not advertised my situation...and nobody knows my battles nor are they worth advertising to people who may not have my best interest. I am not here to be a victim but to shed light to people that have a similar experience.

When social ostracizing you not only hurt the parent, but you hurt their child.  It is then up to that parent whose child you hurt to deal with the pain you have caused their child and to have to teach their child to empathize with those who hurt others.  So thanks for giving me extra work just by being your selfish self. I have to do that work so I can stop the cycle of ignorance with my child, but what about countless other children or adults this happens to... What if their parents are not mentally equipped to teach empathy but to hate people like you...Then of course that cycle of hate will continue. That trip you kept boasting about that you all took together but didn't invite my child to, that hurt my child.  Not only did you not invite my child but you kept boasting about how much fun you had over and over in front of her.  Are you really that mentally inept and insensitive as a grown adult?  Can you blame a parent for not wanting to socialize with people like this... I value this experience for making me and my child a stronger person and making us realize that the world is indeed unfair.  The bully is rewarded as long as he is fake and tells people what they want to hear and strokes their ego.  I would rather not be in the IN crowd and teach my daughter the valuable lesson of not following the rules of socialization especially if they are just completely wrong.  We can be that change and for that I raise a stronger woman and we stand strong in our decision not to be sucked into society's expectations.  Genuine people are out there but not in the usual mainstream masses, you just have to look in the right places.  In the meantime we focus on respect to ourselves and others but not acceptance from others.  You need to accept yourelf as a person first and foremost.  Nobody defines you - you define yourself  - a lesson well learned going through what may seem negative experiences. Other people putting others down or ostracizing are working from ego and competition.  It is not coming from a happy inner place.  They have inner demons that they need to work on and that is why they act the way they do and ostracize others.  The cycle continues but it stops and doesn't work with me.  I will not continue that cycle and will be my best version of me I possibly can.  You are not here to make others approve of you.  You are here to make yourself happy that should be your ultimate goal in life.  Your happiness is success!

Natasha F.